Why Fixing the ‘Man Problem’ Holds the Key to Societal Progress

Ladies, I humbly sug­gest that you keep read­ing oth­er great arti­cles in this won­der­ful news­pa­per so that men can have a heart­felt con­ver­sa­tion for a few minutes.

Fel­low men, now that we are alone, let me shock you. A bro­ken Nation and a bro­ken fam­i­ly are both reflec­tions of bro­ken men because I believe that we have a pro­found God giv­en lead­er­ship responsibility.

Where­as this might be a con­tro­ver­sial state­ment in our mod­ern soci­ety but in my view, it is at the heart of many of our prob­lems and we can have that con­ver­sa­tion anoth­er day. For today I choose to sug­gest three ways that we can fix this man problem.

First­ly, we should learn to tack­le con­flicts speed­i­ly and deci­sive­ly. Matu­ri­ty is defined by how fast we resolve our con­flicts. This applies in both per­son­al and pro­fes­sion­al set­tings. For many years, I would tack­le con­flicts at home by retreat­ing into a shell. Con­se­quent­ly, there would be seem­ing peace on the out­side but rag­ing con­flict with­in me. With time, I real­ized that this approach was deep­en­ing and length­en­ing my con­flicts. Such real­iza­tion is at the heart of self-aware­ness. As Mar­ty Sher­man of the USA Men’s Gath­er­ing once said, “men should flour­ish through adver­si­ty com­fort zone, we need to step out of our com­fort zone. Real men want to grow, real men are strong.” We must become self-aware of the emo­tions that fuel our con­flicts. For instance, why do cer­tain remarks and actions from the women in our lives anger us more than others?

The more self-aware we are, the more we shall be able to empathize dur­ing con­flicts. Ego often makes it quite dif­fi­cult for men to empathize hence los­ing the oppor­tu­ni­ty to solve con­flicts with speed.

Sec­ond­ly, we as men can fix our lives if we real­ize that lead­ing by exam­ple is more pow­er­ful than lead­ing through words. Char­ac­ter is at the heart of exam­ple. John Wood­en the famous Amer­i­can Bas­ket­ball Coach once said, “Be more con­cerned with your char­ac­ter than your rep­u­ta­tion, because your char­ac­ter is what you real­ly are, while your rep­u­ta­tion is mere­ly what oth­ers think you are.” I sug­gest that we flip the coin and become more pre­oc­cu­pied with our char­ac­ter. This will com­pel us to truth­ful­ly change our­selves and con­se­quent­ly change our soci­ety for good. Remem­ber, you can­not give what you don’t have.

Essen­tial­ly, a man should evolve into a good shep­herd. A good shep­herd should have a deep, pos­i­tive char­ac­ter that con­stant­ly impacts those in his world. As per the Psalmist in Chap­ter 23, the Lord is such a good shep­herd that His fol­low­ers lack noth­ing. Can your fam­i­ly and those who look up to you say the same thing about you? If your char­ac­ter is inspi­ra­tional and instruc­tive, they too will lack noth­ing as you lead them through qui­et waters. You can be eco­nom­i­cal­ly pros­per­ous and yet be inca­pac­i­tat­ed by fear of lead­ing your fam­i­ly emo­tion­al­ly and spiritually.

Third­ly, we as men can fix our lives by open­ly shar­ing about our life expe­ri­ences. We should desire to have gen­uine friends who will ask us the hard ques­tions- how are you, are you prac­tic­ing fideli­ty? Explor­ing these ques­tions in a cli­mate of trust and open­ness will fuel pow­er­ful sto­ry­telling that will build us and hence the soci­ety at large. Occa­sion­al­ly dur­ing my Eco entre­pre­neur­ship engage­ments, I have faced severe road­blocks. While I over­came some, oth­ers over­came me, leav­ing me feel­ing like a tire with slow punc­ture. The total­i­ty of these tri­umphs and fail­ures cre­at­ed the man that I am today. If I share these expe­ri­ences, oth­er men in sim­i­lar predica­ments will be bet­ter off. Just as I too will be bet­ter off if oth­er men who have walked down this path share with me their expe­ri­ences. As we debate whether Liv­er­pool will win the Pre­mier League or not, can we also explore the bro­ken­ness in our lives and how we are fix­ing it? Mwanaume ni viten­do! Think green, act green!

About Dr. Kalua Green

He is the Chief Stew­ard of Green Africa Group, a con­glom­er­ate that was envi­sioned in 1991 to con­nect, pro­duce and impact var­i­ous aspi­ra­tions of human­i­ty through Sus­tain­able Mobil­i­ty & Safe­ty Solu­tions, Eco­pre­neur­ship & Agribusi­ness, Ship­ping & Logis­tics, Envi­ron­men­tal Pro­tec­tion Ini­tia­tives, as well as Hos­pi­tal­i­ty & fur­nish­ings sectors

This Is Why Men are the Weakest Link to Our Society’s Growth

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